Eve’s search history: do snakes talk? weird fruit poisonous? how to know if you’re naked. best leaves for clothes. how painful is childbirth?

February 19, 2020

Me when I see “invite your friend to church.”

February 16, 2020

When you realize the Armor of God doesn’t have pants.

February 6, 2020

Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him… – Matthew 22:15

January 12, 2020

When the guitar solo goes too far.

January 7, 2020

Me calculating when my first cheat day will be.

January 3, 2020

Text: Herod: Did you find the baby yet? GPS: Rerouting.

December 23, 2019

Misheard Christmas lyrics: He’s making a list, of chicken and rice… Yet in thy dark streets China… Don we now our day of peril, fa la la la la… Joy to the world! The Lord has gum…

December 3, 2019

Thanksgiving Pie Chart

November 19, 2019

Jesus multiplying loaves of bread: This is how I roll.

November 15, 2019

How I feel when pastor asks a question from stage and I get it right

November 12, 2019

Me when someone grabs the donut I wanted.

November 7, 2019

Walking into church with an extra hour of sleep like…

November 3, 2019

How I watch commercials during scary movie season:

October 20, 2019

Before David cleared his search history: girl bathing on roof, Bathsheba, is Bathsheba single?, how to betray your friend

October 17, 2019

Disciples: We’re hungry. Jesus: (Copy loaves and fish)

October 12, 2019

What gives people feelings of power. Money. Status. Being the first one to clap when Pastor’s point was good.

October 8, 2019

Prophets. God: Hey, I need someone to go to Nineveh. Jonah, you down? Jonah left the conversation. God added Big Fish to the conversation.

September 19, 2019

Join us this week for Pumpkin Spice Communion!

September 16, 2019

When I’m most likely to get mad at fellow drivers. 35% On my way to work. 10% Heading to a restaurant. 100% Driving to church.

September 4, 2019

When a celebrity thanks God in their speech and you’re trying to figure out if they’re Christian.

August 19, 2019

There are three types of people in the world: 1. those who can count 2. those who can’t

August 16, 2019

Swear Jar. Not remembering that one guy’s name jar.

July 24, 2019

1 min: time it takes to make a new friend at church. 5 min: time it takes Pastor to finish praying. 2 hrs: time it takes to decide what to eat after church.

July 14, 2019

When you use “thus” in a prayer.

May 2, 2019

When a parent picks up their child from the nursery, the rest of the kids be like…

December 20, 2018

When you’re working on that new you but still love donuts.

December 14, 2018

Me not wanting to raise my hands. “Reckless Love”

December 13, 2018

I got 99 problems but reckless love ain’t one.

November 12, 2018

When the waiter asks if you’re done with your plate.

November 6, 2018

When the waiter asks if you saved room for dessert.

November 6, 2018

Jesus: I am the light of the world. Moths: Be right there!

October 24, 2018